The place: University of Washington campus, Center on Human Development and Disability. The time: Wednesday, March 22nd, 2017, 12pm EST. Jenni and I had to take a day off of work to drive in from Redmond. The reason: Finding out whether or not Desmond, our little Fox Man, was positive or not with ASD.
A lot had lead up to that moment in time. Jenni and I uprooted our fledgling family and moved out to Redmond, WA a little less than a year ago. Due to that move, the past year has been filled with many ups and downs. UP – All the new experiences the Pacific Northwest has to offer. DOWN – Not having the support of our family and friends. UP – An amazing school for Desmond and awesome jobs for Jenni and me. DOWN – Rain… Lots and lots of rain.
Overall it’s been an amazing, life-altering experience. It’s been hard, sure, but then aren’t all good things in life worth the challenge? It wasn’t until Desmond’s first birthday that we (and by we, I mean Jenni and her amazing intuition) began to notice that something might be a little off with our little Fox Man.
- He LOVES spinning things. Anything that spins or has wheels, Desmond can spend hours playing with it.
- Desmond doesn’t really like socializing much with other kids his own age.
- He is VERY picky when it comes to the textures of food, preferring crackers and yogurt.
- Desmond repetitively rocks on the couch or in his high chair.
- He was starting to not use as much eye contact with us.
- And the big one… Not pointing or mimicking clapping or other gestures that he’s supposed to do by this age.
While any one of these isn’t cause for concern, when Jenni started noting all of them we decided to take Desmond to Kindering, an amazing school out here that specializes in assessments and early intervention. I’ll admit, I was skeptical at the time. “There’s nothing wrong with Desmond,” I kept telling myself. “He’s just learning things at his own pace.” Well, I was wrong. Desmond definitely qualified for Occupational Therapy and Educational Therapy.
Those therapies really helped change my perspective on things, simply because I immediately began to notice improvements in areas I hadn’t realized Desmond even needed improvement. His eye contact became better. He became more social. We learned all sorts of exercises we could implement to help him eat better.
At the recommendation of his OT, we decided to also get him an official assessment to see if he was on the autism spectrum, otherwise known as Autism Spectrum Disorder. That’s where the University of Washington comes in. They had a cancellation and we were able to get an appointment for Desmond relatively quickly. After a few appointments driving out to UW and having Desmond evaluated, we finally arrived at the day of the diagnosis.
The diagnosis: Yes, Desmond does have Autism Spectrum Disorder.
I felt so many conflicting emotions when I heard the news, sitting in that tiny room next to Jenni. Worry for the future. Anxiety about what would happen next. Impatience at wanting to get started doing everything we could possibly do to help our little Fox. Relief at having our feelings and observations validated by a professional.
It’s been a little over a week since that diagnosis, and I am still coming to terms with what this really means for my family. Jenni and I are doing everything we possibly can, but there are days when I still feel like there is more I can and should do. Soon we’ll be starting our own ABA training at the University of Washington, which I’m sure I will write about more when it starts next week. Despite all my efforts though, I’m still filled with worry, anxiety, impatience and relief. But there is one more emotion I feel: HOPE.
What does the future hold? I’m really not sure. One thing I am beyond grateful for is my amazing partner and wife, Jenni, without whom I would have gone on pretending things were okay. Her intuition told her something was wrong, and I’m glad I listened to her. The earlier you start intervention with ASD, the better, and we are starting therapies very, very early. I have high hopes for the future.