They say that hindsight is 20/20. It’s easy to know what you should have done after it’s already happened. This is one of the curses of life and time. When Jenni and I finally decided to move to the Pacific Northwest, it was after months of deliberation. Pro/Con lists were plentiful. In the end, we finally decided that the experiences and opportunities outweighed the negatives. So, we moved our little family across the country. Desi was 6 months old.
Fast forward to today. Desmond is nearing 2 years old! He has also been diagnosed with ASD for 6 months now. With retrospect, in HINDSIGHT, it is easy now to see this past year and a half has been one of the hardest we’ve ever experienced. No family here. No support. All of our best friends are back in Indiana.
I am beyond thankful that Desmond has the most amazing, intuitive mother. I am grateful for the incredible care his therapists have given him and am tearful at the progress he has made. It hurts my soul to think of leaving the teachers and administrators at Goddard, all of whom have been gracious, understanding and helpful as Desmond journeys the path through his world. If there’s one shining light about our whole move to the PNW, it’s that Desmond was diagnosed so early and has received the most amazing care.
However, Jenni and I both have been struggling. We’ve slowly realized that the life we live here simply isn’t sustainable. Again… No family here. No friends. No support. When Jenni gets sick, I’m left to do everything. When I get sick, she has to take up the slack. When we’re both sick… well, it isn’t pleasant (and it’s happened more than once).
We both keep coming back to something the doctor told us when Desmond was first diagnosed and we were going through all the therapy options. One of the most important things is to take care of each other, because if we’re not well then we’re not able to take care of Desmond to the best of our abilities. As it is, we’re stretched too thin. We spend all of our time at work, at therapy, or working with Desmond. I find time to run here and there, but I think Jenni only gets 15-20 minutes to herself at the end of the day before falling asleep exhausted. We need help. We can’t do this alone.
So, even though we love the culture, environment and opportunities of the PNW, we’ve decided to move home to Indiana. Packers are coming on October 9th and we’re loading up the moving truck on the 10th! Looking forward to an amazing road trip with my Dad as we transition back to life in Indiana, where we’ll be close to all our family and friends once more.
This whole experience has made me realize just how important family and friends truly are. You can have the most indescribable experiences, but they don’t mean much if you can’t share them with the people you love, and everyone we love is in Indiana. I am hopeful that once we move home we can find the sustainable lifestyle we need with the help of our family and friends. Jenni and I might finally get a real date night, too!
Looking forward to seeing all you Hoosiers in October!!!
Can’t wait to love, help and support in every way!
Its SO hard to go it alone in a new state with no family nearby. I have battled it for the better part of 3 years here in Tennessee. The adage is true, it really does take a village to raise a child. In my case, being a single parent was especially tough. The lack of support here for me was not as straining as it was for Lucas and earlier this year I started contemplating moving him in with his dad. We made the transition about a month ago and I think he is happy and well adjusted. Its not traditional by any means but family is family.
You have done an incredible job so far, I’m sure that trend will only continue. 🙂